so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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