Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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