So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
