If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
pray to the hookup gods
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize