FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize