i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This baby is an asshole
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize