Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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