I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
