Where are you?
In a non slutty way
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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