Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
