Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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