She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
