i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
