hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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