She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
