fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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