everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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