Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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