Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
