Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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