this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How's work?
Spinning.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think a kid would responsible me up
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
