He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
