I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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