What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
