I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
