i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
