Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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