Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize