I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
