Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
