Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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