Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
