what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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