She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
