How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
