I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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