I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
