I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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