I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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