She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
