weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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