Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
