idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
