If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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