he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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