4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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