I love black thongs
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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