for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
