I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
