I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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