I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
