this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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