Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
