he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize