I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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