ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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